Friday, August 26, 2005

Crows

i have a fascination with crows..i dont know why, maybe its because their thought as evil..what with the being european version of a vulture and always eating seeds on farms....i find myself attracted to them for some reason.. anyways here are some pictures i took from deviantart.com ..these are some pics which captured me, ablazed my mind..i feed off of images like this.. taking it in and then feeding back by weaving it like gold strands into a part of my story..
...
hehe..crows and a scarecrow

this one is called "Gaze" and rightly so.. just by staring at this i start thinking about who this person is and about their life..

lol this fits PERFECTLY into my story.. this is like fuel

another face..another life.. another story..

Thursday, August 18, 2005

..more..

Sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

dunno how i skimmed over and didnt see this one.. on Keira's advice looked it up. really really like this writing.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Shakespeare's Sonnets

17
Who will believe my verse in time to come
If it were filled with your most high deserts?
Though yet heaven knows it is but as a tomb
Which hides your life and shows not half your parts.
If i could write the beaty of your eyes,
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,
The age to come would say "This poet lies,
Such heavenly touches ne'er touched earthly faces."
So should my papers, yellowed with their age,
Be scorned, like old men of less truth than tongue
And your true rights be termed a poet's rage
And stretched meter of an antique song:
But were some child of yours alive at that time
You should live twice, in it and in my rhyme.

18
Shall i compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of Maym
and summer's lease hath all too short a date.
sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometimes declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
BUt thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose ossession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall Death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

19
Devouring Time, blunt thou the lion's paws.
And make the earth devour her own sweet brood;
Pluck the keen teeth from the fierce tiger's jaws,
And burn the long-lived phoenix in her blood;
Make glad and sorry seasons as thou fleets,
And do whate'er thou wilt, wift-fotted Time,
to the wide world and all her fading sweets;
But i forbid thee one most heinous crime,
O, carve not with thy hours my love's fair brow,
Nor draw no lines there with thine antique pen.
Him in they course untainted to allow,
For beauty's pattern to succeeding men.
Yet do thy worst, old Time; despite thy wrong,
My love shall in my verse ever live young.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Point of Life

God created life, earth, man- He created us to live in beauty. To live in simpleness and perfection-no need for meaning. But man decided he was not content, he yearned to live in perfection that was created by himself, not God. We live in a society where everything MUST have a meaning, a purpose, a point. Behind everything we do, inherent lies our will to create our own perfect surroundings. Sitting around wondering what the purpose of life is- is useless, waste of time. dumb.

i really am going crazy.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Music of the Night

Simon woke up to the song of peace. Soothing, eternal peace flowing through his body. The song was not composed of sound but of something which no human would be able to explain. Opening his eyes, he noticed that it dusk with very little light filtering through the trees. As his vision adjusted he saw that he was staring at a shabily dressed, long haired horribly ugly man scattered his thoughts to the point where he would have screamed. Instead he found he could not utter a noise. He could hear no other sound besides the singing. Simon noticed the ugly man staring at him with concern.
"Do not be afraid, Simon, you are safe."
He heard the man speak but did not see his lips move and hundreds of thoughts rushed through his mind.
"Where am I."-"Whats with the music?" "I'm not afraid. Why aren't your lips moving? How do I hear you? Why are you holding me and who the hell are-"
"Calm yourself and your thoughts! I am Velaho and I stand in the presence of God. The music you are hearing are psalms and praises being sung to our LORD. This forest is a stronghold, an island in the sky, a sanctuary for souls who are in need of rest. I am holding you because your soul has been separated from your body and it would be dangerous for me to let go."
"Am I dreaming, what does thig guy mean by my body being separated from my body. Island, stronghold? This sounds familiar, he's saying almost the exacts same things Gabriel said to Mary. What the-"
"Calm yourself! Your thoughts are your words. Everything you think I hear."
Looking at Velaho this time, Simon said as if he were shrugging.
"Oh well, if I'm dreaming, I might as well play along. Sir Velaho what is thy command?
Velaho gave an exhasperated look to Emerlo and Breck both who were invisible to Simon. Breck had heard enough of the boys dubiety. A bright flash and he was clothed in white armour with shield in one hand and fire in the other. Simon gaped and was suddenly humbled. His mind rambled frantically.
"I am the LORD's servant. I will be silent. Dear God please forgive me. I will not doubt your messengers again."
A blur of colors and pitch black again. Simon opened his eyes to a hospital room. Joyous cries sounded around him as he opened his eyes. Familiar faces, family faces, a doctor smiling. A whisper in his ear.
"We are here and we stand in the presence of God."

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

champagne supernova by oasis

lot of pain and discomfort this morning, really.. miserable..
wishing is miserable too..at least to me it hasnt been friendly
mmmm

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you when we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Cos people believe that they're
Gonna get away for the summer
But you and I, we live and die
The world's still spinning round
We don't know why
Why, why, why, why

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Cos people believe that they're
Gonna get away for the summer
But you and I, we live and die
The world's still spinning round
We don't know why
Why, why, why, why

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
We were getting high
We were getting high
We were getting high
We were getting high

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

tips on constructive criticism

two posts ago..an anonymous person commented:
"You are a fruit cake. Boo hoo, your life is soooooo hard, you are sooooo different to everyone else... riiiiiight."

They claim I'm gay- as an insult more than a fact I'm guessing. hmmm..lame
"Boo hoo" -hehe this makes me always think of Casper the friendly ghost. Here it seems their trying to mock me. What a well thought through line.
"your life is so hard" -I would agree with them there
"your life is so different to everyone else" -again..nothing to argue about..'cept for the grammar thing there

Looking at this comment, then to analyze what kind of person who would write this. Someone who is hurt themselves, who is having a difficult time in life, and are not convinced that my problems are hard.. or not as hard as theirs.
God bless you and may he help you with whatever your problems may be, really. please.. if your going to comment at least come up with some good insults...and whoever you are. If you know me, dont post anonymous when mocking.. its cowardly..

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

some songs and then some

stiil working on the next bit of the story.. i believe reading "out of the silent planet" gave me a good deal of fuel along with watching some movies- across the river kwai (dont ask me how this inspired me.. maybe on the humor side of it all.. especially with the british always saying things like "blast!" -"jolly good fun" "jolly good show", "madness!" etc.) independance day.. again i dont know how this exactly inspired me..

been listening to some songs.. i think its about time to change the music video on here...
good songs to listen to that can be related to drugs.. and are for listening to while your on them (for pure surgical reasons of course)-from best to least based on experience:
Staralfur by Sigur Rus
Yellow by Coldplay
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles
Champagne Supernova by Oasis
Magical Mystery Tour by the Beatles
Yellow Submarine by The Beatles
Paranoid Android by Radiohead
Burn one Down by Ben Harper

Monday, June 13, 2005

dark

im working on the next story bit dont worry.. i know basically whats going to happen, its just working it all out in my mind.

I love listening to music in the dark, late at night. After a shower, after a pain fight, just lie in bed, listen to music and let my mind, heart and emotions run around and mingle with my imagination. I can easily identify my emotions, right now I feel frustrated, hurt and lonely. Ye, I have friends who visit me, I love visiting and talking for however short amount of time, but it brings up things inside me which hurt. My struggles are different, not exactly more difficult, just different and I can try to understand theirs but they can't comprehend mine.

One of the songs I have, is very special to me. When I listen to it, I wish I could bannish all my problems and not have to deal with the petty drama and requirements that 'must' live through in this post-modern culture. It just makes me want to break down, cry and ..basically, just sing love to God.
It's the theme song to the movie 'Brother Sun Sister Moon' ..about St. Francis.

Brother sun and sister moon,
I seldom see you, I can't hear your tune;
Preoccupied with selfish misery.

Brother wind and sister air,
Open my eyes to visions pure and fair,
That I might see the glories around me.

I am God's creature, of Him I am part,
I feel His love awakening my heart.

Brother sun and sister moon,
Often I see you, I can hear your tune;
So much in love with all that I survey.

I am God's creature, of Him I am part,
I feel His love awakening my heart.


I long for the moment, when I am set free of the bonds of my physical life, so that I may be welcomed into the presence of God, for Him to scoop me up in an embrace, while whispering "well done my good and faithfull son"

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Forest of violets

Jolts of pain. Followed by flashes of nothingness overwhelmed Simon. His eyes burst open in bloodshot agony, screaming and writhing, he shouted into darkness. The darkness washed over his screams, tantalizing him, teasing him, echoing his screams. For it was not body which was tormented, but his soul. Again Simon felt the feeling of eternity encapsuled within a second. Time did not matter to him at that moment. All that mattered was salvation from the darkness which covered him, and the second he wished this, his panicking ceased. He was still being tormented, but he could block it out for one part of him to think, to listen, to act. Words came to his mind, and flowed from his heart.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death."
Steel pierced him. He felt crushed. Yet he continued.
"I fear no evil for You are with me."
The darkness was stiffling now. No more did it just wash over him, he felt it struggling against him, trying to drown his words which were no longer screams, but truth.
"The LORD is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear?"
To this, he heard an answer. The darkness rumbled, almost as if it was telling Simon to fear itself. In a last effort it rose against him. Simon began speaking in a tongue not his own, it flowed from his heart, in a song unlike any other.
"Sing to the LORD a new song, sing to the LORD, all the earth. Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad. Let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy."
The darkness faded immediately to trees and green. Simon blinked and then began to cry, sprawled out on the ground.
He fell asleep. Breck and Emerlo were nearby to. Their clothes and appearances normal they gazed about them. Velaho placed the boys head into his lap and stroked his hair, whispering healing. The forest floor was covered with violets, which joined in song with Velaho.